The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

- Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

- Janette Barber

Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram?" Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

- Jan King

A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. Then I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling, "Hey, come back here with my breast!"

- Linda Ellerbee

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

- Lily Tomlin

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.

- Geri Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

- Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

- Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

- Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

- Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

- Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

- Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.

- Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

- Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

- Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

- Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

- Catherine Aird

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss...and they called ME slow!

- Kathy Buckley

Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.

- Stephanie Piro