The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
- Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
- Janette Barber
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram?" Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
- Jan King
A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. Then I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling, "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
- Linda Ellerbee
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
- Lily Tomlin
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
- Geri Jewell
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
- Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
- Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
- Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
- Rhonda Hansome
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
- Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
- Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
- Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
- Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss...and they called ME slow!
- Kathy Buckley
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
- Stephanie Piro