Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Alcohol is more harmful than heroin or crack, according to a study published in medical journal the Lancet. The report is co-authored by Professor David Nutt, the former UK chief drugs adviser who was sacked by the government in October 2009. It ranks 20 drugs on 16 measures of harm to users and to wider society.

Tobacco and cocaine are judged to be equally harmful, while ecstasy and LSD are among the least damaging.

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules, just as any game has certain rules.
 
The first set of rules would be:
Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
You may not simply transfer money into some other account. You may only spend it.
Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.

Congresspeople are exempt from having to go through security machines at airports--why?  Because they legislated it so. (Btw, the whole-body-scanners that show you naked were just okayed for airport security use!).  ANYWAY, here's an idea whose time has hopefully come:

ENOUGH ALREADY!
Governors of 35 states have already filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of  the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.

For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress.  Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest was to exempt themselves  from the Health-care Reform ... in all of its forms.  Congress was not designed to be above the law.

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
 
This virus is  called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).  If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.  This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
 
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes -- Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE), and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
 
You should immediately send this medical alert to five friends.  If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

@ PRISON
You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell

@ WORK
You spend most of your time in a 6X6 cubicle

@ PRISON
You get three fully paid for meals a day

@ WORK
You get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for it

@ PRISON
For good behavior, you get time off

@ WORK
For good behavior, you get more work

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
 
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
 Knowing when to come in out of the rain
 Why the early bird gets the worm
 Life isn't always fair
 Maybe it was my fault

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you started but have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. Before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash... Twice a day. 

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.  

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found  shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out quickly. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past 6 months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER